It’s not me, it’s you


I get it: everyone is busy these days, but at what point do we cut ties with our friends? After having a child shortly after college, I saw a dramatic drop in the amount of friends I had, but I was okay with it. I get that peoples’ lives change and sometimes you just drift apart. I don’t, however, understand how someone is so busy that even a simple response to a text message is just too much.

I am constantly working and trying to keep my ship afloat, so if I take the time out of my day to send you a text or an email, have the courtesy to do the same. I am not asking for a lunch date next week or to hear every detail of your life, but I honestly do care how you’re doing and would like some sort of feedback. By the way, a “like” on Facebook does not count!

I know life can get tough and sometimes you might not want to share what’s going on, but I don’t think that’s a reason to shut someone out. To me, this would seem like a good time to grow closer to the friends you have instead of pushing them away.

I truly value all of my friendships, that’s why it’s so hard for me to let go. Thus, why I keep bugging you in hope of a response. However, I can’t continue to invest in a friendship with no return. It’s not fair, and quite frankly, its exhausting.

No one wants to be the friend on the outside looking in, so today, I am breaking up with you. It’s not me, it’s you. I wish you no harm, but I can’t continue to waste my time on someone who can’t even spare five minutes. As hard as this is for me, I know it’s what’s best. I am over driving myself crazy wondering why you don’t have the time. Who cares? You’ve made it clear you are busy, and I will respect that. I won’t, however, continue to inquire about what is going on in your life. I will always look back and love the times we shared and laughs we had. Enjoy life, just know it goes by quickly.

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  1. Darilyn Wilson says:

    I have a friend in my life, I think we are friends, who doesn’t respond to any of my messages. I can relate to your entry. I don’t want to break up our friendship. At the same time, though, I feel alone in the communication process. So, I am praying for this friend and will be available whenever a response arrives.

    • fbarbare says:

      There just comes a point where you’ve tried all you can. In a way it’s like this person has made it clear they don’t have the time for me. I think praying for them is all we can do. I wont spend the time reaching out to them when there are other friends who are willing to give me the time of day. I am here if this person ever needs me, I am just not waiting anymore.

  2. Jemma says:

    I completely agree with you. There was a time when I thought the amount of friends was important, over the years a lot of my friends parted ways. I would always get upset when they wouldn’t text me back. I found myself constantly asking myself “what did I do, did I do something wrong?” I eventually just had to cut ties. Now I am lucky to have a small and wonderful group of women who are truly there for me and I for them! It is a huge blessing, and I don’t know where I would be without them. I have learned its quality over quantity.

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