I used to be a selfish person, but the second I became pregnant, that all changed. As a parent, everything you do affects your child, and you want to be everything you can for them. You want to be a role model, best friend, and confidant. But what happens when your child is in pain and there is nothing you can do? I’ve been in this situation too often, and let me be the first to say, it sucks. My child is only three, and we’ve already been to the ER four times.
I hate it. I hate not having the ability to take her pain away. I know she’s looking to me for comfort, and I can’t help but sit there with tears in my eyes wishing there was something more that I could do. It’s a sickening feeling. You can’t just kiss it and make the pain go away. These are real, life-threatening situations where I don’t have the answers or cure.
I knew she had a high probability of developing allergies and asthma, but I didn’t know how scary it would be to watch her go through it. My heart sank when they had to put tubes in her nose. She was pitiful, and my only comfort was to hold her in my arms. After she received a breathing treatment, she was quickly on her way to recovery, but those first minutes felt like a lifetime of torture.
What scares me is knowing it can, and more than likely will, happen again. All I can do is pray that God will give me strength to be the rock she needs in times like this. I want her to be able to look me in the eyes and feel like everything is going to be okay.
Ella has made a full recovery and is back to her normal self. She convinced daddy to not only play dolls with her, but to also take her to get pancakes with “shaving cream” on top.